Sometimes while traveling down the marriage road we need to
stop and ask ourselves how healthy is our marriage. Is it in good health, with
a relationship that brings satisfaction and contentment, well being and
reasonable happiness to both spouses. Or is it somehow not quite in robust
health—perhaps a bit dysfunctional.
Evaluating a marriage from the perspective of happiness is a
little tricky. And most people do this. Am I happy? Are we happy? And they tend
to translate their happiness in other aspects of life—work, family, social
activities—into happiness in their marriage. Which, of course, can be very
misleading. Happiness in other areas may mask an unhappiness in your marriage.
This also applies to enjoying good times together. Having
fun is important, and many couples start out that way and figure that having
fun into the latter years of their marriage does mean the marriage is healthy.
This is same for doing things as a couple which can range from parenting to
buying a house and making a home to handling financial challenges together.
Each of these, or a combination of these (and other feelings
conditions) can give a false reading on the true health of the marriage, or
even a pre marriage situation. What’s best is to really talk about the health
of your marriage. Sit down and ask your spouse how they define a healthy
marriage. Make sure he or she truly talks about it, and just doesn’t say
something to satisfy the moment. Make some notes and compare your perceptions
in the light of understanding each other better and improving the marriage.
Perhaps some goals can be set, and then later talked about.
This is marriage counseling (or pre marital) that is self
accomplished. And it can significantly help provide meaningful insight. In
other cases it may be realized that an outside marriage counselor may bring
more insight and change to the marriage.
